Quick straw poll. Y’know, for science.

Consider the number of sexual partners (heterosexual for the purposes of this experiment) that men and women have.

On average, do you think:

(1) Men have more than women

(2) Women have more than men

(3) Men and women have roughly the same amount

?

That seems like a pretty clear question to me. It’s (1), right? That’s certainly the result you’d get if you asked everybody what their *own* count was.

Hmmm.

Wait a minute.

I’m not sure that’s possible.

The number of heterosexual males is roughly the same as the number of heterosexual females. I think either Uncle Randy or Auntie Chastity has been telling porky pies, and I’ll tell you why.

Let’s think about this. What if I simplify the picture down to 3 males and 3 females. Can I find any arrangement that results in an uneven spread?

Let’s say Man A had his way with all 3 Women A, B and C and everybody else stayed celibate. Man A had 3 partners and poor old B and C had none. I feel for you, chaps. So that’s 3 in total on the left hand side. Women A, B and C had one each. So that’s also 3 in total on the right. Even Stevens. And clearly if the situation is swapped (Man A, B and C each fiddled with any one of the Women), the arithmetic is the same.

What if Man A is still Casanova and Men B & C had one leg-quiver each (be it with the same woman or not)? That’s five on the left and five on the right. Same again.

Now let’s say everybody boinked everybody else. Each Man and Woman had 3 partners each. So that’s 9 on each side. Still the same. IT’S ALWAYS THE SAME. It *has* to be, because every new coupling on the left is a new coupling on the right too. That’s still true, no matter how much we ramp up the numbers.

ANY new coupling has to be new on BOTH SIDES. You can’t have a new coupling for a man that isn’t also a new coupling for a woman. So that’s one new partner for the men and one new partner for the women. Their totals both go up by one. And if the *totals* are the same, and the number of men and women are the same, the average is also the same!

The average number of partners is the same for men as it is for women. It can’t be any other way. It’s (3). Maths and logic say so.

So why is it that when you *ask* men and women, the picture you get is completely different?

LIES.

**People lie. Maths doesn’t.**